Social Conditioning can cripple your communication skills

John French

Overview :

Negative social conditioning results in communication blocks.

The dangers of negative social conditioning

Communication skills are hampered by negative social conditioning

Social conditioning is one of the biggest obstacles so many people battle to overcome when it comes to communicating effectively. The term ‘social conditioning’ refers to the social programming we all endure as children and young adults where social influences programme us about how to act and communicate in ways which are approved by our society in general, or by peer groups within a particular society.

Natural, open and expressive communication is the birth right of all. Only social conditioning and resulting limiting beliefs can sabotage this. Think about it. No baby ever considers failure, nor has a problem vocalising or expressing itself. It is simply unnecessary to teach young children how to communicate. They do so instinctively and very effectively. Small children are also the most effective negotiators on the planet.

Babies can cry and scream for days on end without ever causing vocal strain. Before social conditioning we do not have bad vocal habits or limiting beliefs around communication. Many adults, on the other hand, are crippled with emotional blocks when it comes to communicating and expressing themselves openly, confidently and effectively.

Open communication is our birth right

Sadly, so many people are robbed of their innate ability to express and communicate effectively by the horrors of their social conditioning. Over the millennia, millions of children have been programmed, indoctrinated, punished and restrained, and as a result their communication potential has been thwarted by parents, authorities and leaders who seek to control, manipulate and capture the minds of the innocent youth.

Social conditioning in the classroom

Think about how many of you had to deliver your orals and speeches back in the classroom. You probably were made to memorise your whole speech (pressure, pressure, pressure); had to stand bolt upright like a soldier waiting to be shot down. You were also told to keep your arms at your side and not to move. This could only have felt uncomfortable, traumatic and unnatural. Instinctively the child knows this. These old-fashioned teaching methods amount to child abuse. In these unsafe situations children instinctively feel very restricted, strangled and unpleasantly controlled.

Childhood traumas affect adult communication

As a result of these horrific classroom communication lessons, many children grow up to fear and distrust public speaking and other forms of communication forevermore. Research indicates that most stutters actually start in the classroom with children feeling embarrassed and ridiculed. Cold and cruel teaches cause children to close down emotionally and as a result they do not feel comfortable in expressing themselves.

Once such brutal personal programming has taken place, young adults then start to repeat these limiting communication beliefs and lessons in their lives. Human beings are absolute creatures of habit, and habit entrenches all such limiting lessons and communication behaviours. The communication cripple emerges …

Communication skills training can free imprisoned adults

It is therefore only through supportive and effective communication skills training that people can regain their personal power, build self-confidence and re-learn the skill of communicating effectively. Over the last 23 years, Communication Guru John French has specialised in helping tens of thousands of people to regain their self-confidence, unlearn and overcome destructive social conditioning communication habits, and re-learn how to communicate openly, confidently and freely. This is where some of our most rewarding work is done, and our clients’ personal breakthroughs have been spectacular.

“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.” – American comedienne, Phillis Diller

How you can improve your communication skills

You can really enhance your communication skills by doing the following:

  1. Asking yourself what kind of communicator you need to be to open the door to further engagement and opportunities.
  2. Pay close attention to the feedback you receive from others. How do people react to you? You can improve your communications and communication in the workplace by putting more effort into your communication skills.
  3. You can improve your ability to communicate professionally by paying attention to your non-verbal communication: your posture, body language, hand gestures, facial expressions and eye contact.
  4. In face to face communication, you can improve your verbal communication by paying attention to your voice: your voice projection, clarity of speech and friendly tone of voice.
  5. Keep an open mind, pay attention and use effective listening skills to listen to your client’s point of view and accommodate their personality type and communication style.

If you would like to improve your communication skills, or for more information on our various communication skills training programmes, e-mail the Communication Guru John French at

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Free Guided Relaxation mp3

Free guided relaxation for your personal stress management

Stress Management is a vital module in all of our training programmes because stress is the greatest enemy of effective communication. Listen to this 8 minute beautiful guided relaxation by Jenny Ibbotson. It will help you to manage anxiety and develop a habit of calmness.


Stress Management is a vital module in all of our training programmes because stress is the greatest enemy of effective communication. Listen to this 8 minute beautiful guided relaxation by Jenny Ibbotson. It will help you to manage anxiety and develop a habit of calmness.


Free guided relaxation for your personal
stress management